Let Go and Let God

First of all, I want to say THANK YOU to Murphy for welcoming me so graciously to the family of Murphy Toerner and Associates, Inc. in so many ways. Inviting me to contribute on her blog is just one of the many examples I could list, and I am grateful for the invitation and the warm hospitality. For my first offering, I will share a recent post from my own blog, but in the future, I will be posting unique writings here:

You may have heard this little saying before - "Let go, and let God." I suppose it has been made most popular through 12-step based recovery programs. It is also very wise.

I'm a problem solver. It's what I do for a living. Well, there's more to being a therapist than solving problems, but it is a big part. And I've always been a whiz at working jigsaw puzzles. I'd like to say I was the outstanding puzzle worker from a great puzzle-working family, but my Dad and my two sisters would probably quickly call me on that stretch. Anyway...

I was in my empty new office on Friday, looking at the desk that happened to be available, and envisioning the rest of the furniture I will be bringing during the coming week. And I was frustrated. No matter how I arranged and rearranged the puzzle pieces, I couldn't make them fit together into a pleasing big picture. If you know me at all, you know how locked into a problem or project I can get until I get it solved. And I was getting nowhere, except more frustrated and agitated. And here I was in my new office at Murphy Toerner and Associates, where I am so excited to be moving. Something was definitely wrong with this picture.

So, by the grace of God, I was able to put into practice some of the growth and insight He has provided me over the last year or two, and realized that what was wrong with this picture must have been my attitude. "Pause. Deep breath. Just walk away, Rog. No, I have to solve this all right now! Just walk away. Okay, okay. I guess I am just making things worse. Let it go, man. Just let it go. Wait - don't just let it go. Let go, and let God! Father, I am tired and frustrated, but this office and move really means a great deal to me, and I want to have the right attitude, as well as setting up the best office for my self and my clients. Please help me! Thanks."

Well, I strolled outside for a slow leisurely meander around the pond at CK Office Park, and finally settled on a stump overlooking the landscape. I could feel God stilling and refreshing me. My Father was reaching down, patting my back, and telling me He is with me, He is proud of me, and it will all be okay. He will take care of everthing. And then the beautiful gift of grace. "Hey son...what about using a sofa table, instead of a desk? ;)" Now, this may not sound like much as you read it in the context of my little blog post. But it hit me with thunderously calming joy. That was it! Aaaahhhh! The pieces came together in one glorious motion, and God gets all the glory. He is so good!

Just one more little reminder for me and you why it is ALWAYS so good to let go, and let God.

Peacefully,

Roger

p.s. - Upon returning to my new office with my wife and new furniture (the sofa table looks great, by the way!) to meet the resident handyman to help me get moved in, I got a surprise. I discovered my unbridled zeal regarding how to arrange my new office had led to scuff marks on the new carpet. One more lesson learned.

The Power of Touch

(Photo by M. Toerner, 12/2007)
Thank you, Karen and Jon.

Never underestimate the power of touch, whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually.

When someone holds your hand when you are sick, it communicates a sense of commitment and companionship.

When someone hugs you or lays hands on you in prayer, it communicates value, warmth, and community.

When someone shares a spiritual idea or insight with you or when they share what God is doing in their life, it creates a greater longing for God and the fellowship of the saints.

When someone asks you to help solve a problem or brainstorm about an idea, the intellectual capacity in the room is increased exponentially.

God created us to live connected to one another and in community with one another. Stay alert today, God is calling you to connect and encourage those around you.

Blessings to you,
Murphy

The Art of Virtue

(Photo by M. Toerner, 2007)

Recently, I discovered a book about the art of virtuous living. The book is a compilation of excerpts from Benjamin Franklin's journals. The following is Franklin's first formula for successful living:

"If our desires are to the things of this world," wrote Franklin, "they are never to be satisfied."

Pleasure,

position,

popularity,

wealth,

and appearance are among those whistles (possessions) in life

which cannot satisfy, and for which many people pay too much.

Happiness is so common a desire that all the world is in pursuit of it;

but, since the happiness of man lies in correct action, and correct action flows only from correct opinion (thinking), many never fully experience the happiness that could be theirs if they were more careful of their opinions (thoughts).

To be happy,

it is necessary to possess an indifference to things of this world,

to be willing to submit to the will of Providence (God), and to have a well-grounded expectation of life hereafter.

To be happy,

it is necessary to learn how to govern one's passions and appetites,

to be just in one's dealings with others,

to be temperate in one's pleasures,

to support oneself with fortitude in difficulties, and to be prudent in one's affairs.

Because those things external to man

have little to do with happiness, Franklin believed that happiness

can only be found in a virtuous and self-approving conduct.

And because, in old age the only solid satisfaction

is the reflection of a long life spent in meaning well,

Franklin believed that, in this life, the only constant and durable source of happiness,

is in acts of humanity,

friendship,

generosity,

and benevolence.

The Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful Living

Benjamin Franklin, pp. 36-37

Edited by George L. Rogers

Expectations

(photo by M Toerner, 12/2008)

Romans 4:2-5 -- "2. For if Abraham was justified by works, he has something to boast about; but not before God. 3. For what does the Scripture say? "AND ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS RECKONED (CREDITED) TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS." 4. Now to the one who works, his wage is not reckoned as a favor, but as what is due. 5. But to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is reckoned as righteousness, ..."

This passage says that Abraham was justified by faith (trust in God and what He says); not by works (simply obeying the Law.) God is always intentional and purposeful. He does not operate by happenstance and His work, intentions, or kind acts are not random.

It is crucial that all of God's children understand this foundational principle. If we believe we are justified by our works (our obedience to the Law), it always leads to some type of boasting. The boasting may or may not be expressed verbally and whether it is or isn't is insignificant.

Human beings operate by an on-going, stealth-like formula. We inherently believe when we do something right; achieve some imaginary standard of righteousness; obey the Law; or follow Him faithfully, we will be rewarded. We EXPECT God to give us the desires of our hearts. If we are single, we expect a spouse is forthcoming. If we are childless, we expect fruitfulness and parenthood. If we are sick, have complete faith He will heal us. We discount death as a form of perfect health. Just the opposite, we believe God has to heal us because we've asked in His name. We develop an insidious form of pride, self-aggrandizement, self-promotion, or boasting because of human effort. Although we are not conscious of our reasoning, we believe we are due the things we want, in the same way a person expects to be paid for a day's work. Why is this insidious? Because it is invisible and undetectable; we are unaware of how we are operating.

Isn't this why we get so angry and disappointed, and even enraged, with God? Isn't it because we expect to be "paid" in wages of: comfort, ease, success, fulfilled desires and dreams? We expect such things as payment for our choices.

When we serve God well or obey His law, a spirit of expectation and/or entitlement arises. We have well thought out ideas of how He SHOULD respond to us. When our expectations and entitlements are not fulfilled, we react with devastating disappointment with Him.

Two things can help us:

1. Anytime we are angry or enraged with God, we need to stop in our tracks and question our response. We need to examine why we feel the way we do. Is it because we expected to be "paid" for our obedience? Expecting and deserving go hand in hand and they lead to extreme reacting.

2. The supreme reason we obey God is because HE IS GOD (and we aren't.)

Beside you in Christ, Murphy

Learn the Lesson

Something to think about:

We are going to mess up. It is inevitable because of our humanity. It is impossible for any human being to be perfect. Don't get me wrong, there are times when we excel and our performances are good, consistent, and sublime. Yet, in time, we will mess up because we can't sustain perfect levels of performance or excellence.

Have you "messed up" lately? Have you done something that you are ashamed of or deeply regret? Most of us, if not all of us, could answer in the affirmative. Are you stuck in beating yourself up because of your mistakes? Are you stuck in feeling overwhelming guilt about some legal or moral failure? If you are, I want to give you some hope.

God expects you to fail; in the same way that a parent knows that their one year old baby will fall and hit his/her chin on the living room coffee table as they learn to walk. All parents KNOW the "fall" is going to happen. They just don't know the exact time. God accepts our failures because He remembers we are dust; we are frail (Psalm 103). He is not angry when we fail. He cares more about what we do after we fail. He cares about us learning the lessons from our failures.

He wants you to learn from your mistakes.
He wants you to yield to the conviction of His Holy Spirit.
He wants you to realize that the CONSEQUENCES that befall you will get bigger and badder as you grow older; so learn early and learn quickly.

He wants you to learn from your mistakes.
Learn to turn to Him.
Learn to trust Him.
Learn that the fun you were pursuing is not worth the consequences you will pay for your sin.
He wants you to take sin seriously.
Again, He wants you to learn the lessons from your failures.

If you recently failed in any way; please, please please humble yourself under the mighty hand of God; and He will exalt you in the proper time (I Peter 5:8).

When you get caught, don't get mad ... That only leads to wasted energy.
When you get caught, choose to change. Choose to follow God. Choose to pursue virtue. You will never regret doing the right thing. Never!

Much love,
Murphy

New Beginnings

It's January, 2009. Can you believe it? I don't know about you but it seems like time is flying by.

I love January. December is my favorite month because of Christmas, family get-togethers, plus my birthday is at the beginning of the month. So, I love December; but I equally love January because it is a time of new beginnings. All of us benefit from emotional, spiritual, relational "do-overs."

Beginnings are full of energy and hope. They give us the opportunity to reflect on our lives and make needed or necessary changes. Sure sometimes our efforts are not successful; but think of what your life would be like if you NEVER experienced turning points along the way.

The beginning of a new year lends itself for moments of personal reflection. Usually when we stop our frenetic life-styles and reflect, God is very faithful to gently and gingerly reveal areas in our lives that don't line up with His will. God is not a screamer. He is a gentleman. He speaks to us. He convicts us. He guides us and leads us into all truth. He is faithful to conform His children into the image of His Son, Jesus.

As you reflect, is God showing you something that He wants you to change through the power of His Holy Spirit? Is there a character issue that He wants you to bring to Him so He'll help you change? Is there a way you speak that is not pleasing to Him? Does your will supersede His will?

It is a new year! It is time for reflection, renewal, restoration, and transformation. The work is not totally up to you. You can not make yourself holy. Only God is able to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It is a time for you to choose to reflect and ask God to do His "God-thing" in your life. He will help you succeed. He will change you little by little into the person you were always meant to be.

Please don't let this season pass you by.

Much love,
Murphy