Hope you enjoy the blog; may it bless and encourage you!

Murphy Geer Toerner

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Austin TX and Baton Rouge, LA, United States
I enjoy helping people. I am an encourager and I can see the good in others. I want people to understand what it means to be an authentic Christian and not just a religious "nut." I believe if Christians lived and loved others as Jesus lived and loved others, we would experience more of heaven on earth than hell on earth. These thoughts and writings are intended to encourage you to be who God originally designed you to be. They are also intended to challenge you and make you think. Also, I want you to know that I'm praying for you every day. Blessings, Murphy Blessings to you, Murphy

Monday, June 25, 2012

Holding God in Your Debt

Is it possible for a person to "hold God in their debt?"   Yes.  It is possible.  

Holding God in your debt is when you hold on to your anger, frustration, annoyance, dissatisfaction, disappointment, and discouragement about life, love, success, failure, happiness, sadness, dashed dreams and unmet goals and you blame God for everything.

Blaming God is rooted in the thought that if God is sovereign, then He could have brought to fruition the things that you wanted or the things you thought you deserved.  You're upset with God because He did not do something or give you something that from your perspective was a "no brainer." So, when God did NOT solve the situation the way you'd hoped or thought was best, when He did not rescue you from a consequence that you deserved, when He did not resolve the burden you were carrying, when He did not come through for you in the way you were demanding, you assumed that He was not really a good Father or a loving Father.  

In your disappointment, you became angry and disgruntled. You may have thought something like, "You're God! You could have solved this; resolved this; intervened in this.  But you didn't. Why? Don't you care about me? Don't you love me? Don't you understand how much this situation is going to hurt me?!?!?!"  When any of us think like this, in actuality we are "holding God in our debt."  We believe that God OWES us something and we will hold this over His head until we get what we want from Him.

This is a terrible mistake.  If you are doing this right now, humble yourself before the Father in Heaven and repent.  

I don't know why God did not intervene in the way that seemed so right or logical to you. What I do know is ~ God is totally wise and sovereign.  He is a perfectly loving Father.  He always deserves our love and obedience whether we understand what He does or doesn't do.  He is God and we, as Christians, are His children.  


Poster art for "War Horse."2011 Walt Disney Pictures.

One of the definitions of "meekness" is power under control.
The image in the Greek is that of a "war horse" that is ready to charge; yet the horse is totally submissive to the authority of his rider.  
The horse is complete willing, ready and able to run down two of the enemy at a time, but
he will not move forward until given the command to do so by his rider.  

Jesus was meek.  He wasn't a wimp.  He was completely under the authority of his Father in Heaven.

Do you obey the Father in this way?

Efficacy of Personal Coaching

1.     The concept of coaching has been around for thousands of years.  It is a positive and powerful relationship between a wise, experienced, positive, motivational, and knowledgeable person who is easy to connect with and trust.  This person is the coach. 

The coach is engaged by one who understands and believes that he/she could be and do more in various roles and responsibilities in his/her life: spouse, parent, friend, employee, employer, and/or athlete. 

Coaching is a forward thinking approach to change and enhanced success.

2.     When a person takes the time to seek out and contract with a personal coach, they probably have navigated through the first two stages of change, pre-contemplation and contemplation, and are either approaching the action stage or fully present in the action stage.   The one being coached is emotionally, motivationally, intellectually, spiritually, and psychologically READY to do what’s necessary for specific and successful change that is long-lasting.

3.     Personal coaching is not simply behavior management; no sticks and carrots are used to mindlessly alter behavior via rewards and punishments.

a.    Coaching is based on a positive, healthy, and ethical relationship between the coach and the coachee.  It is a relationship of trust, teachability, openness and mutual respect.
b.     The coaching relationship is a professional and contractual relationship.  Specific items  are agreed upon before the coaching takes place, including:

                                               i.     Time, frequency, and type of meeting (phone or face-to-face
                                            ii.     Fees for coaching are set: price per session or price per month, how fees are to be paid
                                            iii.     Length of coaching relationship (3, 6, 9, or 12 months)
                                           iv.   The coaches interactions and conduct are based on an accepted set of professional ethics

c.      A coach meets the coachee where he/she is. 
d.     A coach skillfully approaches the coachee and facilitates the coachee’s journey through a specific coaching theory.  One clear-cut and simple to remember model is by Dr. Jeffery Auerbach, entitled the G. O. O. D. approach:
                                               i.     G – Set goals
                                              ii.     O – Brainstorm about various options
                                            iii.     O – Be mindful of evident and hidden obstacles, which need to be addressed in order to achieve success.
                                            iv.     D – The coach and coachee decide what the coachee is to “do” that week

e.     A skillful coach using the art of questioning and the G. O. O. D. model can help a coachee discover whether there is hierarchy of goals or a specific order of goals. 

For example, a coachee may believe he/she is ready to start a new business in a new city.  However, through dialogue, self-examination, and reasoning, the coach and the coachee realize that the coachee has not fully grieved leaving a 20+-year business in another region of the country.  They both agree that before building a new business, the coachee must thoroughly process all the changes, which have recently taken place.  Once the grieving process has been addressed, THEN, the coachee will be ready with the proper energy and motivation to begin building a new business.

4.     Personal coaching is highly successful because the coachee conceptualizes what his/her goals are and what the best options are to achieve success.  Since the coachee is the driving force in setting their goals, an automatic “buy-in” is created for the coachee.  Their “buy-in” is a key to motivation and endurance.  The coach is a facilitator, reflector, and illuminator.  The coachee’s values and strengths are highlighted and fully engaged in the entire process.  As specific, personal weaknesses or roadblocks are discovered, they are viewed as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. 

5.     On a personal level, having been coached both personally and professionally; I can attest that every time I have utilized coaching I have had both positive and productive results.  EVERY TIME!  In a one-time 10-20 minute coaching exercise, one can experience a deeply positive and productive out come.