Interesting Article ... Take a look

This is a great article on how to treat people personally and professionally.  It will bless you and probably teach you how to improve your ability to connect with those around you.

Just click the title to read the article. 

Enjoy!

In Him, Murphy

The Power of Love

Love is an amazing phenomenon. It's created by God and demonstrates His character, nature, and His steadfastness because He IS love.

Love has several expressions: brotherly love (friendship), sexual love, familial love, and the purest, most perfect love agape. Agape love wants what is best for the person being loved. It is steadfast, sacrificial, and without guile.

God's love is: patient, kind, not jealous. It doesn't brag and is not arrogant. His love doesn't act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own, is not provoked, and does not take into account a wrong suffered. God's love rejoices with the truth. Godly love is healing and transforming.

God's love offers acceptance; total acceptance. It disarms self-protectors, outlasts cynics, strengthens the weary, and fosters transformation. We learn the best when we feel the safest (Byron Kehler). When we KNOW we're loved, we can examine ourselves without fear of condemnation and retaliation. Self-examination leads to correct understanding and proper allocation of responsibility.

Godly love bears up underneath great stress and strains (bears all things). It believes the best of others, the best of God, and the best of ourselves believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Godly love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).

Love never fails! Love never fails! Love never fails! Our anger will fail because the anger of a man will not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1). Our manipulation will fail. Our adroit persuasion will fail. Only love will never fail.

What does this look like? It boils down to loving someone well enough and long enough, through the power of the Holy Spirit, thereby creating a divine opportunity for transformation. Interestingly, both the giver and the receiver of this kind of love are changed for the better.

Ask the Father to enable you to love others with the love of Christ. Blessings to you all. m

Hairline Fractures

Question:  Is a hairline fracture ever good?

Take your time and think about your answer.  (Repeat the question: Are hairline fractures ever good?) What is your opinion?

Common sense leads us to believe that hairline fractures are NEVER good because they represent a place of weakness in a bone.  The slightest hairline fracture creates vulnerability.  Too much weight and stress applied to that site results is a broken bone; even a compound fracture. This would never be a good thing! 

If there is a hairline fracture in a wall near a window or a door frame, most of us would deduce that something is going on with the foundation of the house.  Repairs could run up to thousands of dollars.  That is never good.

What about a hairline fracture in a glass pitcher?  Would that be bad?  Of course it would be bad.  The last thing you want at a dinner party is a pitcher that breaks in two; spilling a quart of sweet tea (it's a Southern thing) all over the lap of a guest. 

Question: Is a hairline fracture ever good?  Think for a moment.  

Yes, there are times when hairline fractures are good.  When a person has been the object of ridicule and cruelty, they usually begin to believe they are the problem.  They believe they are defective and worthless.  Surely their parents would not lie to them or falsely label them?!?!  If they are blamed for everything and labeled by the family as the "identified patient," it must be true, right?

No, it may not be true at all.  In fact, more times than not when people label their children, the root issue lies within the "label er" not the "labeled."  Normal, loving, whole people don't go around labeling others.  Dysfunctional, whack-a-doodle people (a professional term) will do anything to take the spotlight off themselves. Labeling, badgering, and belittling are ways to accomplish that goal.   

Sadly, children do not have the capacity to discern the guile of dysfunctional parents.  Children do not have the ego strength to counter the actions of caregivers.  Innocent children are hard-wired by God to believe people, especially their parents.  

So, is a hairline fracture ever good?  The truth is, "Yes."  When a wounded person is loved and accepted right where they are; when the love and care are consistent and persistent,  they begin to develop hairline fractures in their belief system.  When they are told good things, truthful things about who they really are (and especially who they are in Christ), hairline fractures appear... even in the thickest of protective walls.  If they are affirmed long enough, blessed thoroughly enough, loved well enough, the hairline fractures of a wounded person begin to enlarge and the heavy weight of labels and accusations; blame and misplaced responsibility begin to break off that person.  This is a glorious miracle of God.  For a wounded person to see himself/herself as God sees them, it is life-giving and life-changing.  

So, you see, some hairline fractures ... strategically placed by God can be exactly what a person needs.  They are crucial in changing a person's self-concept.  They are vital in aiding a person to become who God ordained them to be. 

And on top of that, God will use people in our lives to be His truth-bearers.  Their love, patience, kindness, goodness are used by the Father to create tiny cracks in our misguided belief systems.  It is a glorious day when bad things break off of God's people. 

Amen and Amen!

 

Caring For Others

Yesterday was a 12 hour day for me. It was non-stop; yet, fulfilling. I saw growth taking place in the lives of my clients and supervisees and myself as well.

Yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, I received a text message that said, "Hey buddy, hang in there. U R almost on the last leg of UR marathon. Praying 4 U!!!! Love, U ... (the person's name.) I have to admit when I read the message, I broke into a huge smile. I smiled because I felt the fullness of care, concern, encouragement, and love sent by a friend through a text message. It was awesome. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Caring for others doesn't have to take an excessive amount of time or money. It can be expressed in the few seconds/minutes it takes to write a text message or a quick phone call. Caring doesn't have to be draining or taxing. Just letting a person know you are thinking of him or her makes a huge difference. Who doesn't want to feel loved or cared about? We all want to be thought of and loved. God made us this way.

That is why it is important to remember to reach out to people. Give them kind encouragement. Remind them of the truth about God, this world, other people and them as individuals:

* God is ... good, always good, and can never be anything but good. He can't be put in a box and He is not predictable. He is as wild as a lion, but always good. He is love. He is the perfect Father (who nurtures like a mother.) He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He wishes that none should perish, but all have eternal life. He ears the cries of His people. An abundant life is attained through a relationship with Him.

* This world ... contains good and bad; godly and evil; reverence and contempt. It has natural rhythms; and unexpected chaos. It is difficult and yet, interesting; it is rewarding and yet, discouraging. It is full of troubles and woes. It seduces us into believing that it is heavenly, yet truthfully, it is hell on earth. It is a fallen world. It can never satisfy our longings. It is not God's best for us; the best is yet to come for those who place their trust in Jesus Christ.

* Other people ... are often the sources of our greatest hurts and deepest disappointments. In turn, people are the recipients of our best behavior and our worst revenge. Sometimes, God uses specific people as instruments of divine healing. As we engage with other people, we see the Christian life modeled; we see what it can look like. Some people are bent on doing great harm against their fellowman. Others are committed to loving others so well that emotional healing emerges. These brothers and sisters in Christ are unexpected sources of comfort, kindness, and hope.

* Ourselves ... We are capable of loving well and hurting deeply. We sometimes connect with others; sometimes we cut and run. We long to be known and loved, yet, we masterfully hide from ourselves and others on an as need basis. We are inclined to live life in extremes: I'm really great or I'm awful. In truth, no one is better than another. We all fall short of the glory of God. We applaud others one minute and curse them the next. We extend helping hands and we slap people in the face. We are loved by God with an incomprehensible love. He cherishes us. It is difficult for us to wrap our minds around God's son dying in our place for our sins. Our personal wellness is correlated to our maturity in Christ.

Ponder these thoughts.

Is there someone you need to call or text right now?

Is there someone you need to thank or express gratitude?

Is there someone you need to forgive or ask for forgiveness?

Ask God to show you who you are to care for right now, this moment. If He shows you, don't think about reaching out ... pull a "Nike" and "just do it."

much love, Murphy

Hope

I was talking to a friend tonight on the phone. We were commiserating about some current difficulties and obstacles each of us are facing with kids, work, ministry, marriage, decisions, and such. Some of our concerns are comparatively minor; others become weightier with each passing day. Although the backdrop of our conversation was serious, laughter was lavishly sprinkled through out.

How could that be? Our laughter was rooted and grounded in our knowledge that as children (in fact, daughters) of a King, we are NOT TO LIVE AS THOSE WHO HAVE NO HOPE.

Our hope is not based on present circumstances or eleventh hour rescues; nor is our hope based on human intelligence or physical prowess. Our hope is firmly based on the consistent character, the kind intentions, the tender mercies and graces, and the supernatural love of God's Son, Jesus Christ. Our hope is generated through trust; through faith. To the degree that we embrace the truth that Jesus is sovereign over every event, every problem, every worry, and every outcome; to that same degree ... hope is generated.

When Jesus rose from the dead, the Holy Spirit brought that which was dead back to life. This indelibly demonstrated that when a situation seems the darkest, there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and the darkest hour is just before dawn. Believing God is able to raise us from the "dead," creates a resiliency the world can not understand, manufacture, or imitate. Supernatural resiliency founded on the love and goodness of God; always yields supernatural hope.

Are you in a situation that feels hopeless?
Does it seem as though there is no way out; no way to resolve your dilemma?
Don't forget to draw hope from the God who loves you.

Developmental Stages

Usually, when we think about "developmental stages," we have our children in mind. The truth is, however, when our kids go through their developmental stages, we as parents navigate through developmental stages too.   

When children are small, parents are thrilled to watch them go through the appropriate developmental stages.  You remember:  turning over, holding up their head, laughing, rocking, pulling up, crawling, one-word sentences, multiple word sentences.  It is all just one big celebration after another.  Most parents have Hallmark calendars (complete with stickers) to record each event so they can remember what happened and where it happened.  It was thrilling.  

In the beginning, it is as though the parents are cheering and rooting for their child to successful complete each expected marker of development.  When the child is delayed, we fret and worry that something might be wrong.  When they breeze through the various stages, we think our child is off-the-chart in intelligence and we are sure they will go to some prestigious university.  

At some point, especially around the teenage years, our children start pulling at us because they are chomping at the bit to do all the things that they see as markers of adolescence.  They can't wait to:  spend the night over at a friends, go to dances, drive the family car, get a car of their own, go away to college, get a job, live in the dorm, and many more.  During this time period, the parents are almost universally putting on the brakes because the stages are flying by and we feel out of control.  Parents don't think these stages are nearly as much fun as the kids do.  The parents would much rather prefer for things to go back to the way things were when their child was in elementary school.  

When our children "launch" from home, meaning:  when they graduate from college or trade school; get a job; move out of the house; live independently and make their own choices, parents pretty much begin to freak out.  The maturing process of the kids is going so fast that the parents feel uncomfortable with the rapid pace.  Parents are scared to death because they just don't have the control they once did.  

Truthfully, it is a good and right thing for our children to grow up.  The goal of parenting is to launch our children successfully.  Even though we struggle with the new-found independence of our children, we need to try to go along with as much as we can.  We need to allow them the room to grow up and the opportunity to fail.  That's how our children will grow the most:  taking things one step at a time and calling on the wisdom of God (and our wisdom if they seek it) in order to make wise, appropriate decisions.  

Are you having trouble letting your adult children go?

Do you still seek to control and yet you call it influence?

What do you think that is really about?

Could it be that we are so afraid that God won't come through for them that we feel as though we need to take care of the matter ourselves?

Ask the Father how well you are doing in allowing your adult children to grow up?  See what He says and then be prepared to make some adjustments if necessary.  God is a much better parent than we could ever hope to be.  Allow Him to have enough space in the lives of your children.  To do this, you might have to actually get out of the way.  

Think about it ...