Christian parents have two goals. They want their kids to: act right and be right. Christians tend to believe that if their kids are good (or perfect), the parents feel as though they successfully accomplished their job. If their kids turn our right, it proves Christianity pays off.
It doesn't take long for these parents to come to their senses and realize this approach to parenting is hog-wash. A better approach emerges as parents purposefully and intentionally connecting to their children. Having a solid emotional connection with children enhances their influence on their children. Emotionally connecting to their children does not assure success, but it is usually helpful. Christian parents would do well to relax a bit and realize there is only one Perfect parent. He presents an excellent model for healthy parenting.
Being a Christian does not insure parental success. It does, however, strengthen the odds for a positive outcome, but there's no guarantee. The ultimate goal of parenting is successfully launching children into the world of work. Parents also hope their children will choose to live for God and be a productive member of society.
Sometimes parents lose sight of the original goals and get side-tracked. They narrow their focus. When this happens, they are more concerned about their children looking right and acting right than they are about being right or having a right heart.
If you ever see that you are going down the performance road, stop dead in your tracks. Don't go one step further. No positive consequence with come from requiring perfection from our children. It will only beget rebellion. Be wise. Love your children well. Lead them toward Jesus and equip them for being on their own when they launch from your home.
Good thought - connecting. That is what really counts. One of my elders at our church says that when teens get out of line and we are moved to "correct" them, we need to remember that "communication" may be as important or even more so than even correcting them. The communicating and connecting will last a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteWarren