Your First Date

Do you remember your first date?

My first date took place while I was in 7th grade. He guy rode his bike to the school dance and my father dropped me off. I wore an emerald green dress that was satin. I was scared and nervous. Throughout the evening, we danced and laughed and danced some more. We had a great time.

Think about it. We had a great time! Yet, there was no expensive dinner or limousine. There were no party pics and there was no "good night (I don't know what I'm doing) kiss." Yet, it was a lot of fun.

What made the evening so good? Primarily it was because I felt special, beautiful, and chosen.

Every woman longs to be: noticed, pursued, and appreciated. Every woman desires to be chosen and SPECIAL. Every woman needs to know she is valued and attractive. Every woman wants to have a sense of hope for the future. Women want healthy relationships and healthy intimacy.

There are tons of life-lessons and messages we learn along the way. Often, we learn messages like: you are ordinary; you are common. Sometimes we receive messages that define us like: you are expendable and disposable. This kind of treatment, or shall I say maltreatment, leads us to believe that we are unimportant, disqualified, and worthless. Along the way, we begin to feel devalued and dishonored. We are not viewed as ones who are made in the image of God.

In the book, The Sacred Romance, the authors (B. Curtis & J. Eldredge) wrote, "We come into the world longing to be special to someone and from the start we are disappointed. It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is -- not because of what she can do, or what others can gain from her, but simply for herself..." "Can you recall a time when a significant someone in your life sat down with the sole purpose of wanting to know your heart more deeply, fully expecting to enjoy what they found there?" (p. 83)

"More people have climbed Mount Everest than have experienced real pursuit and so what are we left to conclude? ... That there is nothing in our hearts worth knowing. Who ever and what ever this mystery called 'I' must be, it can not be much." (p. 84)

God designed women with unique longings and desires. It is no "mistake" that we desire to be loved. It is not "weird" to want to be wanted. It is God's divine design. It is NORMAL. These are right and good. If you have ever studied psychology, you know that every person NEEDS to be touched. We need to be given attention. We need safe attachments; we need to feel secure and significant."

Personally, I believe that every woman needs to know that she is: lovable and valuable; attractive and beautiful; interesting and worth being pursued. Every woman needs to know that her presence makes a difference and she brings something unique to every situation. She needs reassurance that the future will not always be as bleak as it now seems.

She needs to experience healthy dynamics in each of her unique relationships (as wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend). She needs to be believe that there are a "few" people with whom she can really be herself and still be accepted ... if not celebrated.

All of these deep needs can be and will be met in our relationships with: God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. As we know each person of the God-head for who they really are ... and ... as we are able to love them and be loved by them, our deepest needs will be met. When these transactions happen we will become increasingly settled in our souls. As the love, acceptance, forgiveness, blessings, grace, mercy, (and everything else that one receives when they enter into the family of God), we will walk in a manner worthy of our calling.

We will not feel compelled to prove that we are OK or prove that we have value. We will have the ability to be in silence and solitude and not feel lonely at all. We will experience the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension. How does this happen? When we get to a place when we seek God simply for who He is and not for what He does. When we stop approaching Him as our "vending machine in the sky"; the "man" upstairs; our co-pilot; or a "god" we simply put in a box and only call on him when we need or want something; when we truly experience His love, character and ways; when we accept that we are unequivocally forgiven, adored, and accepted by the God of the universe ... something within us happens. We begin to see Him as He is. He is the father that we always wanted but never had. He is the nurturer we longed for but never knew. He is the friend who is always faithful and He is the husband who will never leave us nor forsake us. When we really know God, something happens on the inside of us as women. We begin seeing ourselves as the daughters of a King and sisters of a Prince. We more readily accept the idea that there is a power-source indwelling us, who is able to give us courage, wisdom, power, determination, and perhaps most importantly ... HOPE. Think about it ...

Beside you in Christ,

Murphy

Interesting Article ... Take a look

This is a great article on how to treat people personally and professionally.  It will bless you and probably teach you how to improve your ability to connect with those around you.

Just click the title to read the article. 

Enjoy!

In Him, Murphy

The Power of Love

Love is an amazing phenomenon. It's created by God and demonstrates His character, nature, and His steadfastness because He IS love.

Love has several expressions: brotherly love (friendship), sexual love, familial love, and the purest, most perfect love agape. Agape love wants what is best for the person being loved. It is steadfast, sacrificial, and without guile.

God's love is: patient, kind, not jealous. It doesn't brag and is not arrogant. His love doesn't act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own, is not provoked, and does not take into account a wrong suffered. God's love rejoices with the truth. Godly love is healing and transforming.

God's love offers acceptance; total acceptance. It disarms self-protectors, outlasts cynics, strengthens the weary, and fosters transformation. We learn the best when we feel the safest (Byron Kehler). When we KNOW we're loved, we can examine ourselves without fear of condemnation and retaliation. Self-examination leads to correct understanding and proper allocation of responsibility.

Godly love bears up underneath great stress and strains (bears all things). It believes the best of others, the best of God, and the best of ourselves believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Godly love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).

Love never fails! Love never fails! Love never fails! Our anger will fail because the anger of a man will not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1). Our manipulation will fail. Our adroit persuasion will fail. Only love will never fail.

What does this look like? It boils down to loving someone well enough and long enough, through the power of the Holy Spirit, thereby creating a divine opportunity for transformation. Interestingly, both the giver and the receiver of this kind of love are changed for the better.

Ask the Father to enable you to love others with the love of Christ. Blessings to you all. m

Hairline Fractures

Question:  Is a hairline fracture ever good?

Take your time and think about your answer.  (Repeat the question: Are hairline fractures ever good?) What is your opinion?

Common sense leads us to believe that hairline fractures are NEVER good because they represent a place of weakness in a bone.  The slightest hairline fracture creates vulnerability.  Too much weight and stress applied to that site results is a broken bone; even a compound fracture. This would never be a good thing! 

If there is a hairline fracture in a wall near a window or a door frame, most of us would deduce that something is going on with the foundation of the house.  Repairs could run up to thousands of dollars.  That is never good.

What about a hairline fracture in a glass pitcher?  Would that be bad?  Of course it would be bad.  The last thing you want at a dinner party is a pitcher that breaks in two; spilling a quart of sweet tea (it's a Southern thing) all over the lap of a guest. 

Question: Is a hairline fracture ever good?  Think for a moment.  

Yes, there are times when hairline fractures are good.  When a person has been the object of ridicule and cruelty, they usually begin to believe they are the problem.  They believe they are defective and worthless.  Surely their parents would not lie to them or falsely label them?!?!  If they are blamed for everything and labeled by the family as the "identified patient," it must be true, right?

No, it may not be true at all.  In fact, more times than not when people label their children, the root issue lies within the "label er" not the "labeled."  Normal, loving, whole people don't go around labeling others.  Dysfunctional, whack-a-doodle people (a professional term) will do anything to take the spotlight off themselves. Labeling, badgering, and belittling are ways to accomplish that goal.   

Sadly, children do not have the capacity to discern the guile of dysfunctional parents.  Children do not have the ego strength to counter the actions of caregivers.  Innocent children are hard-wired by God to believe people, especially their parents.  

So, is a hairline fracture ever good?  The truth is, "Yes."  When a wounded person is loved and accepted right where they are; when the love and care are consistent and persistent,  they begin to develop hairline fractures in their belief system.  When they are told good things, truthful things about who they really are (and especially who they are in Christ), hairline fractures appear... even in the thickest of protective walls.  If they are affirmed long enough, blessed thoroughly enough, loved well enough, the hairline fractures of a wounded person begin to enlarge and the heavy weight of labels and accusations; blame and misplaced responsibility begin to break off that person.  This is a glorious miracle of God.  For a wounded person to see himself/herself as God sees them, it is life-giving and life-changing.  

So, you see, some hairline fractures ... strategically placed by God can be exactly what a person needs.  They are crucial in changing a person's self-concept.  They are vital in aiding a person to become who God ordained them to be. 

And on top of that, God will use people in our lives to be His truth-bearers.  Their love, patience, kindness, goodness are used by the Father to create tiny cracks in our misguided belief systems.  It is a glorious day when bad things break off of God's people. 

Amen and Amen!