Scenery People

How do we survive family dysfunction?  We learn to: fly under the radar, be seen and not heard, pursue perfection, obey promptly, play quietly, deny feelings, suppress thoughts, keep secrets, and tell adults what they want to hear.  

In severely dysfunctional homes, we learn that dissociation, not dogs, is our best friend (even though it costs us huge portions of our memory).  In order to survive, we learn to "X" ourselves out as people.  Our joy, spontaneity, hope, and child-likeness is quashed and we intuitively know it is not safe to ask for what we want or need.  When carried to an extreme, these defense mechanisms unequivocally change us from "real" people to "scenery" people.  

What's so bad about "scenery" people?  I'll tell you.  "Scenery" people easily and effortlessly replicate and re-create themselves.  In no time at all, one "scenery" person rubs off onto scores of others transforming them into dull, lifeless, disingenuous, inauthentic, uncaring, unloving droids, i.e. "scenery" people.

God never designed human beings to be pieces of scenery.  We are created to be image bearers. We are made from muscle, bone, tendons, ligaments, blood vessels, and more. We have hearts and minds; personalities and temperaments. According to our original design, we are supposed to be open, honest, real, and transparent.  We have eyes with which to see and ears with which to hear.   Our hands and arms can touch, hold, and comfort.  God gives us the ability and desire to love others and help others.  We portray Him well when we fulfill His design.

Blessings,

Murphy